115 Why You Need a Writing Retreat with Kathy Ide
Do you feel discouraged or burnt out by your writing journey?
Do you want to connect with other writers who understand your goals and your writer pain?
Do you need time to get away, refocus on your writing, and connect with God?
Perhaps you need a writing retreat.
Many of us have had a stressful year, and sometimes getting away from it all is exactly what we need. Retreats are also biblical. Jesus had to get away. Elijah had to get away. David got away quite a bit, although he was often being chased, so that was a different kind of retreat.
Our guest, Kathy Ide, is a published author, professional freelance editor, and owner of the Christian Editor Association. She has taught at numerous writers conferences across the country and has directed the Mount Hermon (now called the Vision Christian Writers Conference) and SoCal Christian Writers’ Conferences.
What’s the difference between a writing retreat and a writers conference?
Kathy: Thomas, you know how much I have loved writers conferences for many years. You and I met at one. I’ve made awesome connections at those events, both professional and personal, with people I’ve kept in touch with for years.
I think people attend writers conferences mainly to improve their craft, learn about the industry, and make professional connections. Conferences are great for all those things. Sometimes you also make a special connection with God, and you might squeeze in a few minutes of actual writing.
With a retreat, the focuses are the same but reversed.
A Christian writers retreat is mostly about connecting with God in a powerful way and hearing His voice directing you to the next step of your writing journey. The best retreats are held at inspiring locations where you can listen to the Holy Spirit and clear your mind enough to make excellent progress on your writing.
You’ll also meet amazing people, some of whom may become critique partners, friends, or both. Some retreats have a few workshops, some mentoring, or industry professionals you can connect with, but in a more relaxed setting than a conference.
Why are conferences so exhausting?
Thomas: People often say a writers conference feels like drinking from a fire hydrant. I get back mentally exhausted, like I’ve had my brain completely picked.
Many conferences book me for 15-minute consultations where I get peppered with questions. At one conference, I did 40 of them over two or three days. I was so drained that I thought, “I need a retreat from this conference.”
Kathy: That’s so true. A retreat is a completely different experience.
As a registrant, you spend a lot of time before a conference poring over the faculty bios, wondering who to connect with. While you’re there, you’re planning which workshops to take, when to fit in appointments, and whose table to sit at for each meal. By the end, you’re elated but exhausted.
As a faculty member, you spend weeks preparing presentations. At the conference, you pour yourself out to everyone you meet and constantly watch your schedule. You’re glad you went, but your tank is empty.
It takes me at least a week to recover from a conference.
Thomas: I schedule a day on my calendar called “recovery.” Sometimes two. My email autoresponder doesn’t say, “I’ll respond when I get home.” It says, “I’ll be back in the office on Wednesday,” because sometimes I need to stare at the wall for a little bit.
Kathy: Even for an extrovert, conferences take a lot out of you. Maybe more so, because you never take time to sit by yourself and relax. You’re on the whole time.
Thomas: There’s also an intensity to pitching. The biggest appeal of a conference is the chance to meet editors and agents.
Some authors make the mistake of going just for that. They think, “I’m an amazing writer. I just need to meet the right people. They’ll see God has called me to write this book, and they’ll sign me right away.”
The first conference typically breaks that illusion, but it’s painful. Pitching is scary. It’s like auditioning.
It’s also exciting, even though it’s exhausting. You’re meeting new people, and it’s one thing after another. Never a dull moment.
Is a writers retreat more about the dullness, getting you so bored you can’t help but start vomiting words onto the page?
Isn’t a writer’s retreat kind of boring?
Kathy: Oh, it’s absolutely not about boredom. But at a retreat, you don’t have to plan who you want to meet or what you’ll do. All you have to plan for is getting there.
Once you’re there, you can relax. You can take deep breaths of that prayer-soaked atmosphere and enjoy being in the presence of the God who loves you and the people who get you.
God creates divine connections at a retreat the same way He does at a conference. You go anticipating that He will connect you with the people He wants you to meet. It’s a much more relaxed feeling.
What do you do at a writing retreat?
Thomas: What do people do, other than sit and enjoy the scenery? Years ago, there were writers retreats on cruise ships. I never got to go on one, and now they may never happen again.
Kathy: Once you have kids, those dreams go on the back burner sometimes.
Different retreats offer different things. Some have a program with workshops and mentoring. Others are more about coming to find out what God wants you to do while you’re there.
I have been to retreats where they give you a booklet with inspiring quotes, Scriptures, and writing prompts, and I’m patterning my retreats on that. You can read one or two prompts, read a few pages, or skip the booklet and go pray.
You can also spend your time talking with other writers or others in the profession. Faculty members need a retreat too, maybe more than the writers.
Everyone can relax and retreat the way Jesus did. He withdrew from the crowds and got rejuvenated so He could return with a full tank and pour out to other people.
There are usually worship services, and there may be workshops or activities. But go expecting God to show you what He wants you to do.
Every time I’ve gone to those reflective retreats, I’ve thought, “I need to get away. I need time alone with God.” The most powerful experiences of my Christian life have happened there. I’ve heard God speak to me in a way I don’t experience in my day-to-day life.
Thomas: It’s like the difference between a loud concert where everyone is jumping up and down and someone playing jazz piano at a fancy hotel. Both have talented musicians, but one is less exciting and more soothing. There’s a time for both.
How much of a writing retreat is spent writing?
Thomas: Here in Austin, there was a popular meetup group called [Sit Down, Shut Up and Write][LINK NEEDED]. They met at a coffee shop for two hours. After 30 minutes of chitchat, they would start an hourglass, and the strictest silence would be observed. For one hour, everyone would sit down, shut up, and write together. Then they’d ring a bell and start chatting again.
Is a writing retreat more like that, or is it more about rejuvenating?
Kathy: Different retreats have different focuses, and I think that’s a great pattern.
Mine is based on the Mount Hermon Reflective Retreats. Their approach was, “Here’s a booklet if you want it. Here are sessions if you want them. If you want to walk in the woods, do that. If you need a nap, take a nap.” You do whatever you feel God is leading you to do.
There’s a wonderful little chapel at Mount Hermon where you can pray. They have art supplies you can sit with.
If you feel God wants you to spend the entire retreat writing, do that. If you want to set an alarm and make yourself write for an hour, do that. That’s the beauty of a retreat. It’s whatever you make it.
You Don’t Have to Do Everything
Thomas: So it’s like a cruise. You get an itinerary of activities and shore excursions, and you can do them or not. On your first cruise, you feel obligated to do everything. Then you realize, “I think I’ll sit, read a book, and listen to the waves.” And that’s okay.
Kathy: That often happens at conferences too. The first time, you think, “I’m spending a lot of money and taking time away from my family and work. I need to make the most of this.” If there are two workshops at once, you’re asking for a recording of the other one.
At our retreat, we’re recording the sessions so people can listen afterward, and those who can’t attend can join virtually. When you sign up for any retreat, ask whether recordings are available. Then you can focus on writing and prayer and catch the sessions later.
The Mount Hermon Christian Writers Retreat
Thomas: We’ve mentioned Mount Hermon a few times. That’s not a spoiler. It’s foreshadowing. Tell us about your retreat.
Kathy: In 2020, the Mount Hermon Association decided to focus on its core ministry to families and stopped sponsoring the Writers Conference.
Many people in the Christian writing community were devastated. We tried a couple of things to continue as a guest group, but they fell through.
I kept hearing God say He wanted me to do a live event for writers at Mount Hermon, but not a full conference. That’s where the retreat idea gelled. Modeling it on the Reflective Retreat excited me, and my friends got excited too.
So I arranged a weekend retreat with Mount Hermon’s guest group coordinator. It runs from Friday dinner through Sunday lunch, the same schedule as their Reflective Retreat, so it’s shorter than the conference was. It’s the first weekend in November, Friday, November 5, through Sunday, November 7.
The cost depends on your lodging. You can choose single, double, or triple occupancy, with economy, standard, or deluxe accommodations. You can also stay at a local hotel, B&B, or cabin and extend your trip.
Carrie Lippmann, who was Mount Hermon’s registrar for many years of the conference, and her husband, Dave, have a soul care ministry. They’ll present on soul care for creatives. A couple of writing industry professionals will also lead small group workshops.
We’ll have the booklet with writing prompts, quotes, Scripture, and hymn lyrics. All the details are at ChristianWritersRetreat.com.
Thomas: I thought I saw that Bob Hostetler from the [Steve Laube Agency][LINK NEEDED] was going to be there.
Kathy: If he’s not, tell him to sign up. I would love to have him there. He’s awesome.
Thomas: And tell him to come back on the show. [I’ve had Bob on before][LINK NEEDED]. We were agents together, and I gave him a hard time. Now that I do this show, I still give him a hard time.
Kathy: I’m sure he gives you a hard time right back.
Where is Mount Hermon?
Thomas: We should mention this isn’t Mount Hermon in Israel. It’s Mount Hermon in California.
Kathy: There is a difference. It’s at sea level, for one thing.
Mount Hermon is near Santa Cruz, and the nearest airport is San Jose. It’s nestled in a beautiful coastal redwood forest with streams and waterfalls.
Because it’s a 24/7 Christian conference center, that place is prayed for around the clock, and you can feel it the minute you step onto campus. People who go say they can sense God’s presence and the prayers surrounding that place. It helps you hear the Holy Spirit more clearly.
Thomas: That, and it looks like the Forest Moon of Endor with the giant redwoods.
Kathy: Yes, it does.
Thomas: It’s the same kind of forest where that scene was filmed.
How do you prepare for a writing retreat?
Thomas: Preparing for a writers conference is a whole procedure. You put together a one-sheet and proposal, schedule appointments, and research the faculty. What does preparing for a retreat look like?
Kathy: First, read everything on the retreat’s website. Directors put a lot of effort into making the important details available there. If you only skim a couple of pages, you’ll probably miss something you need.
As you wait for the retreat, pray. Ask God to connect you with the people He wants you to meet and to give you clear direction on your next steps. Prepare your heart to receive what He wants to give you.
Encourage your writer friends to come. You get cheaper lodging if you share a room.
Mention the retreat on social media, your blog, and your newsletter. Like, share, and comment on the retreat’s Facebook posts. Let people in your writing circles know. The more people who attend, the more resources you’ll have to draw from, and the more likely future retreats can be held at that location.
Connect with Attendees Before You Arrive
Thomas: It’s easier when you already know people. It’s nice not to be the new kid at school. Hopefully there are online events where people can get to know each other before the retreat.
Kathy: We have a public Facebook page where anyone can get information and chat with people who are thinking about coming.
We also have a private Facebook group where registered attendees can find a roommate or a ride, or just ask, “What kind of writing do you do? Let’s get together at the retreat.”
Then when you arrive, you can look at a name tag and say, “I know you. We connected in the Facebook group.”
Thomas: You might also host a Zoom call where everyone takes turns introducing themselves. Bring one or two people on video at a time and have somebody on deck. “Hi, my name is Joe Schmo. I write historical fiction, and this is my first retreat.” Everyone puts a face to a name, and the retreat becomes much less intimidating.
Kathy: I like that idea.
How do you host your own writing retreat?
Thomas: You don’t have to go to the Forest Moon of Endor to have a retreat. You can book an Airbnb and invite some writer friends. What advice do you have for someone who wants to host one?
Kathy: Pretty much anybody can put together a writing retreat. You need a location, like an Airbnb or a friend’s house, and you need to decide what kind of program you want.
But even a small retreat involves promotion, unless it’s only your personal friends. You have registration, lodging, and transportation from the airport. There’s a lot involved.
Build a Planning Team and a Prayer Team
I suggest building a good planning team of people who can help in their areas of expertise.
Thomas, as you know better than anybody, I’m not great with social media. I’ve gotten better since we met. I know what Facebook is now.
Thomas: It only took 10 years.
Kathy: In large part thanks to your help.
Some people specialize in areas where you don’t. They can do things that would take you much more time, effort, and irritation, because it’s their passion. That’s the only way I’ve been able to direct any of my conferences or this retreat.
Include a good prayer team, too. Whenever we try to do something that will impact God’s kingdom, the enemy will do what he can to stop it. Our God is more powerful, but we need that prayer connection so that what God wants to happen at the retreat happens.
The Micro Retreat
Thomas: I’m a big fan of the micro retreat, where the whole retreat happens at the Airbnb.
You get together with four or five friends. There’s a guys’ room and a girls’ room. If there’s a presentation, you plug your computer into the living room TV. You cook for each other. It doesn’t have to be a big production.
I’m in a mastermind group that used to meet every year. We split all the costs. Somebody would build a big spreadsheet to figure out how much we spent on food and everything else. It ended up not being too expensive, but it was so valuable.
We had a “hot seat.” Somebody would sit in the chair and share their challenges, and everyone would brainstorm solutions. Sometimes you need a hug. But sometimes you need somebody to help you figure out exactly how to fix the problem.
Sometimes it was, “I need to fix my website’s messaging so people understand the kind of book I write.” Sometimes it was, “I have a book due in a month, and I need help.” Or, “Here’s my plot. Tear it to pieces.”
If you look at successful authors, you’ll find they have some kind of life-on-life community like that.
Building Relationships That Lead to Community
Thomas: A bigger writers retreat is a key way to start building those relationships. Someone may not invite you to their Airbnb micro retreat until they know you. You’re staying in the same house. I need to trust that you won’t run off with my wallet.
Conferences are great for building relationships, and I imagine retreats are too, because there’s so much unstructured time to just be together as authors.
Kathy: That’s one of the things I wanted to make sure happened at the Mount Hermon retreat.
After 50 years of the Writers Conference, many people only saw each other at that event. Even if you stay in touch by email or Zoom, you miss the face-to-face connection and the hugs. Part of this retreat is for people who want to see their Mount Hermon friends again.
But every year we also had lots of first-timers, and they were always accepted. No newcomer felt left out of the clique. I want the retreat to be the same. People who know nothing about Mount Hermon will be welcomed with open arms.
At Mount Hermon, there always seem to be a few people you connect with on a deep level and stay in touch with afterward. I encourage people to go home and hold their own smaller retreats with the people they meet there, or with writers at home.
Christian Writers Retreats: One Place to Find Them All
Kathy: When I talked to the Mount Hermon Association, they said, “We don’t rent the facility to individuals. You need a company.” So, I started my own company, because that’s what I do.
The Christian Editor Network was an LLC for about three years, so I know about those.
I called the new company Christian Writers Retreats, plural. After this Mount Hermon retreat, I’d like to give anyone who runs a Christian writers retreat a way to promote it, so writers have one place to find them all.
There are websites that list writers conferences, but as far as I know, there’s nowhere to find all the retreats. I’d like writers to be able to see their options and find the ones closest to them or in places they want to visit.
Why Writers Need Community
Thomas: This is part of why I wanted you on the show. I wanted to promote Mount Hermon, but more fundamentally, I want to promote writing retreats themselves, because I think they’re especially important now.
Society is very fragmented. It’s easy to shake our fists at politicians. But we need to take the plank out of our own eye first and ask, “Am I interacting with as many people in real life as I was before? Am I isolating myself?”
Years ago, people started saying loneliness is the new smoking. There’s a lot of research on how toxic loneliness is. When older people lose their friends and don’t rebuild a social network, their life expectancy starts being measured in months. It’s dangerous. Younger people without deep relationships see theirs shrink to years rather than decades. It’s tragic.
As a writer, you can be in a group and still feel lonely, especially as a novelist. You’re mourning the fact that you have to kill a character, and you feel guilty about it. You can’t commiserate with a normal person about killing a character at the end of Act 2. But a fellow writer can relate and walk with you through it.
We need to start rebuilding those relationships. No politician is going to make you have friends.
Kathy: Absolutely, or stop you from having friends.
Thomas: Otherwise you’re putting too much trust in the government. The government is not that powerful, and if it were, that would be a bigger problem.
Kathy: And you’re giving them too much control over your life.
Mount Hermon does post its COVID protocols on its website, and we’re sharing the link with registrants. They’ve done a lot to clean the place and are serving many meals outdoors. The protocols will be updated depending on what happens before November.
Writing is a solitary thing. You sit in front of a laptop or a spiral notebook and create something from nothing, all by yourself.
Writers need other writers who get them. Other writers understand killing off a character. They can brainstorm with you when you have writer’s block or can’t solve a problem.
At the Mount Hermon retreat, we’re asking attendees, “What do you want to get out of this retreat? Do you want to meet with other fiction writers, nonfiction writers, or devotional writers?” We’re setting up small groups for anyone who wants help with something specific.
We can’t do this alone. If you write a book by yourself without feedback from anyone, it’s probably not going to be very good. God designed us to work in community, as members of a family.
My non-writer friends don’t get me most of the time. They don’t understand why I’d want to look up how to poison somebody without them knowing. Writers deal with so many things others don’t.
So find people who can help you take the next step. Maybe your manuscript is written and you need an editor. There will be editors at a writers retreat.
Maybe you need an agent or a publisher. They may or may not be at the retreat, but you can ask other writers who their agents, publishers, and editors are and make connections that will help your career.